Saturday, August 29, 2015

Visiting Pike's Peak Near McGregor, Iowa!

One of the most beautiful places I know is Pike's Peak State Park in McGregor, Iowa. If you love a view that goes on for miles, plenty of hiking trails, waterfalls, and wildlife then this is the place for you. 

Just stepping out of your car in the parking lot, not even approaching the edge of the cliff's, standing among the trees you get a sense of the majestic beauty of the area. My children and I visited this fantastically stunning viewpoint in Our One Day Vacation Trip to Northeastern Iowa and Wisconsin. We try to make this a yearly outing and it is one of our favorite stops. 


Looking at this view while eating a picnic lunch, it is really hard to concentrate on the food. 


It really doesn't get much better than this on a beautiful summer day in August!


Enjoy the miles of Mississippi River from the north to the south.


Beautiful cliffs!


Trails lead to awesome cliffs with spring fed waterfalls gliding over them.


Enjoy beautiful Bridal Veil Falls!


All of this is free for your pleasure. Yes, Iowa really does have magnificent views! Give them a try in the Autumn when the colors will take your breath away.



Monday, August 24, 2015

Mean Mom: Why I took away my son's Electronics



Yes, I did! I took away the electronic tablets. E-Readers and tablets are great tools, this I cannot deny. In the hands of a child, however, they can be a tool that holds them back from true learning. Let me explain.

My son had a Kindle. It was meant to help him learn to read and to help him improve his movement skills. It definitely did help with the movement skills and a little with the reading. The problem is that when he used the it, I found that his attitude changed. He became increasingly agitated with it and also with the people around him. He became withdrawn and the more immersed he became in it the less responsive he was to the outside world. My son stopped learning how to interact with people and even reversed his ability to do that some. Over the summer, as he used it even more and the competition of school was removed, trips to the park and playing with friends or even his own father became battles over whether or not the Kindle would come with. Fortunately, it died but the Nook soon took it's place.  

There really are few things more disturbing to me than a bunch of little kids sitting at the park playing with their electronic devices. They should be running, playing, and having fun interacting with things and other kids. This is very important to their social development. I think my son's social development actually took a step back. Kids would want him to play but he was too busy on that electronic device to care. One of the scary things that I witnessed was that when he actually did play on the playground, it was usually alone because he didn't know how to play with other kids.
  


When I look at the world today and see all of the kids getting into trouble, getting killed, or killing others it is frightening. Social media, certain movies, or videos aren't meant for kids and if left to their own devices the children will flock to them. They will become disengaged from the world and because it is over the computer they will not learn the consequences of their actions until that horrible moment when they exercise what they have learned on the computer into real life. It is important to be there for them to explain the difference between right and wrong. We can't let a computer raise our kids. There isn't a single thing more important that I can think of than raising our kids to be good people.

Yes it is convenient to let them use electronics for parents at times. I know I was able to get a lot more things done because, for the most part, he was quiet and busy. But when a child, or an adult for that matter, sits in front of a device all the time they become withdrawn, antisocial, and they forget that there are other things in life. Important things that will make or break their future. Talking to people, learning to properly communicate what you want or need to others, and learning how to work with others are valuable tools for growing into a responsible adult. Granted, children don't have that insight into the future that we do. It is our responsibility as parents to help them see it.

So yesterday, after I witnessed my son treating his father with an extreme amount of disrespect, because the rule was when his dad came to visit the Nook was turned off, I took it away. I did not do it without explanation. I told him that I believe that has become to distant from the things around him. And I also told him that I believe that he needed to learn how to interact with people and play. That I wanted him to grow up into a respectful caring young man and that I love him enough to know when he needs my help in making sure that happened. 

Since I took it away, he has been more respectful, helpful, playful, and most importantly, HAPPY! This is not to say that he will never use the Nook again. It is only allowed on car trips and only for a few select, Mother approved, games. Absolutely NO INTERNET! It will be in extreme moderation.

He will learn so much more of life now. And, yes it certainly has been a learning experience for me too!


Monday, August 17, 2015

Single Mom Dating at 45!

After dating off and on and some relationship fails, I made the choice to just stop. Having a young son and dating at 45 years old is a whole lot different than dating at 30. The priorities are different. The range of life experience is different. Not wanting to expose my son to a revolving door of men coming into and out of my life, not dating was a whole lot easier of a decision. Alas, it is a lonely life. This is not to say that I didn't go out at all with a man occasionally, but I never really set my heart into actually finding someone. I figured if it was meant to be that I was with someone that he would show up eventually. Fortunately, he did show up and I am now the happiest I have been in way too many years.

Dating requires a person to put themselves on display in hopes that the other person likes what they see and and what they feel when they are around you. As a single mom, when I go out I have to consider so many variables, not just for the sake of the date, but for my safety and the safety of my children and home. Unfortunately, I found that there are lots of guys that wanted nothing more than to hop into bed for a one nighter. Definitely not my scene. Though I admit, the friends with benefits thing was an option but only with someone I knew and trusted. That, however, is a cold way to go because it still leaves you alone at the end of the night, unable to hold someone or express your hopes, dreams, and love to another. Your holidays, vacations, and whatnot will still be alone. It isn't a lifestyle solution for me.

 I was content with being single at least for the duration of the time that my son would live at home. Ten more years of being alone seemed like a small sacrifice. That and it spared me the possibility of being hurt yet another time. But then I wondered if I was doing him an injustice by not letting him see me happy and with someone, other than him, that wanted to hold me and be there for me. And I wondered if I was doing my daughters a disservice by teaching them not to deal with a situation or try things even though it may not have the desired outcome. I don't want to teach them to hide in a bubble because they are afraid of the possibility of getting hurt. So when the opportunity arose, I took the chance. After five years though, it was scary.

 Thanks to a good friend (Thanks Tracey!) who hooked me up with a friend of hers from work, there is someone in my life who is respectful, loving, compassionate, funny, honest, and patient. I don't know how the future will go but it looks very promising and I'm happy

 Yes, it is scary and yes, it requires taking a chance. But I am sure glad I did. Now my children can see me happy and having a loving, caring, and respectful relationship! And I have someone to share my life with when the nest is empty.