Hummingbird Chow Time

Why 35 Years Ago Matters

This isn't a political issue. Any political comments will be removed without regard to who they came from. I am just telling my story.

I was 17 when I was attacked in pretty much the same way as Dr. Ford except there was no drinking involved. Did I report it? No, I was scared and at that time, little would have been done to him anyway. It was one of the most terrifying moments in my life which lead to weeks of not sleeping and a lifetime of distrust. Woman don't think like men, we never will. When will men get it that they have NO right to lay their hands on ANY woman without her permission? I don't care what she is wearing, saying, doing, or what he thinks she is doing, a man has no right to touch a woman without her permission. Just because he didn't get all the way with her, does not mean that it wasn't a valid attack. NO MEANS NO! There are NO exceptions.

I still remember that day very vividly and, unfortunately, think of it often. I cried for weeks after, late at night, when no one would hear. I did nothing wrong yet I felt like I was the one that should have been ashamed. I never dressed suggestively, said anything suggestive, or even hinted that I would be interested in him in any way. It was just that he felt he had the right to do whatever he wanted to me. There was another male in the room whose name I will not mention that sat and did nothing but watch. This male should have been my protector but did nothing of the sort which hurt even more because of the nature of our relationship. To this day, I am sure that he would deny it. No one would be shocked by that. 

This is the kind of stuff that affects every relationship that comes after it. That is why it is important today. None of my relationships have been untouched by this experience. 

Men don't think like women, they never will. Women are emotional creatures and there is great beauty in that. But when something emotionally traumatic like this happens, rarely can it be fully recovered from without affecting life later down the road. It is a big deal that she was attacked. Maybe not to you, but to her, it was life-altering, just as it was for me.

More women need to share their stories. The men in our lives deserve to know. Maybe if more men realized how messed up events like this make us, they can teach our boys how to be good men and to treat women with the respect they deserve.

Coffee Chat: Where Is Your Happy Place?

I live in a very small rural farm town in the middle of Iowa. Except for the occasional passing car, in the Spring, on a morning such as this, it is so quiet and peaceful. It is the next best thing to living in the country. I get to wake up in the morning and hear all of the sounds of nature. The sweet smell of lilacs fills the crisp morning air as I grab my cup of coffee and head for the back steps outside my home.

I love that I get to wake up to the sounds of birds chirping, roosters crowing, cows mooing, and turkeys gobbling every morning. It's so relaxing to sit on the back step with my coffee and just listen. I'm in my happy place! It puts me in a great frame of mind to start the day. Where is your happy place?

Coffee Chat: Starting off the day positive instead of feeling like my tire!

I woke up this morning in a great mood! Do I always? No. Most days I wake up in a great mood and most days I maintain it throughout the day. (I think it might be partially because of coffee.)

So, you are probably thinking, "Who cares how you wake up?" Well, I do. Hey, it was a long hard Winter followed by almost no Spring. But still, maintaining a positive attitude isn't easy when things aren't going right with the weather or the bills or the car or the kids or or or ... There are a lot of things we can get down about, but there are so many more things that we can be happy about.

I'm happy I get to wake up in the morning, for one. Some people don't get that chance. 😞

The sun is shining this morning, which is always good to wake up to. I love to watch the sunrise, drink my coffee, and catch up on a few select channels on YouTube. 😍 The morning is my time! The birds are chirping and the flowers are blooming. I get to see that smiley face of my son every morning. Fortunately, he is a morning person like me.

Yes, I did walk out the door to this:

Not what I was expecting!

This flat tire was a little bit of a bummer but not enough to deflate my mood. It gave me an opportunity to call up my two adult daughters to as for the compressor that I loaned them and to spend the day with them. Nothing makes me happier than to see all of my kids in one day or together.

Things are going to happen and no we won't always be happy about it. Looking on the bright side or finding a way to make a negative a positive can keep us from getting as deflated as my tire this morning. It is something that we have to practice. The alternative is a life of frustration, anxiety, and unhappiness that I am not willing to participate in.

Here are a few suggestions to start off your day right: 

• Don't hit snooze! Hitting snooze is like an exercise in frustration to start off the morning.It is tempting to beat that button like an angry drummer, but the ten minutes that you get isn't really helping if you have to wake up every ten minutes to get it!
• Speaking of exercise, try it. Get those endorphins flowing. (Trust me when I say, I don't do nearly enough of this!) You would be surprised at how positive your attitude will be all throughout the day when you know that you have taken the time to do something that is good for you.
• Along with exercise goes nutrition. A good breakfast prepared in advance as well as making a good to go lunch for yourself keeps you from getting hangry. It may keep you from screaming at your boss, losing your job, and running red lights. (No promises there.) Eating healthy improves your attitude, focus, and stamina.
• Set the coffee pot the night before. Not having to fumble around with it in the morning makes it go smoother. It also saves time, so you have more of it to do something you actually enjoy doing to start your day.
• Lay out your clothes the night before. Nothing worse than banging your toe on the bed or chair while you are trying to get ready in the morning (and probably using a few expletives). Not to mention having to go through your wardrobe frantically trying to find something to wear (and using more expletives). A little preparation goes a long way to helping stay positive in the morning.
• Put all of the things that you need, before you walk out the door, by the door or near it so that when you are ready to leave, you don't have to search all over the house for it. My Bag containing my keys, sunglasses, wallet, a scarf, and whatever else I may need for the day, sits on the desk in my office space so I can grab it and go. Shoes are by the door so they are easy to slip on as well as a jacket or sweater and my son's school bag.
• Take time in the morning to do something relaxing. Spend time with God, read, meditate, or write in your gratitude journal. Whatever you can do to center yourself.
• Last of all, as you walk out the door, make sure to notice the beauty of nature all around you. Don't take it for granted. The little things like the songs of the birds, the smell of the fresh clean air, or maybe just the freedom you enjoy are all positives in your life. Take time to smell the roses. Enjoy your day!

These are just some suggestions. Do all of them or none of them but do what makes you have a great day and stay positive! Good Morning!

And Then This Happened: Warmer Weather

Oh, the cold hard reality! Bring back the color!