Monday, August 24, 2015

Mean Mom: Why I took away my son's Electronics



Yes, I did! I took away the electronic tablets. E-Readers and tablets are great tools, this I cannot deny. In the hands of a child, however, they can be a tool that holds them back from true learning. Let me explain.

My son had a Kindle. It was meant to help him learn to read and to help him improve his movement skills. It definitely did help with the movement skills and a little with the reading. The problem is that when he used the it, I found that his attitude changed. He became increasingly agitated with it and also with the people around him. He became withdrawn and the more immersed he became in it the less responsive he was to the outside world. My son stopped learning how to interact with people and even reversed his ability to do that some. Over the summer, as he used it even more and the competition of school was removed, trips to the park and playing with friends or even his own father became battles over whether or not the Kindle would come with. Fortunately, it died but the Nook soon took it's place.  

There really are few things more disturbing to me than a bunch of little kids sitting at the park playing with their electronic devices. They should be running, playing, and having fun interacting with things and other kids. This is very important to their social development. I think my son's social development actually took a step back. Kids would want him to play but he was too busy on that electronic device to care. One of the scary things that I witnessed was that when he actually did play on the playground, it was usually alone because he didn't know how to play with other kids.
  


When I look at the world today and see all of the kids getting into trouble, getting killed, or killing others it is frightening. Social media, certain movies, or videos aren't meant for kids and if left to their own devices the children will flock to them. They will become disengaged from the world and because it is over the computer they will not learn the consequences of their actions until that horrible moment when they exercise what they have learned on the computer into real life. It is important to be there for them to explain the difference between right and wrong. We can't let a computer raise our kids. There isn't a single thing more important that I can think of than raising our kids to be good people.

Yes it is convenient to let them use electronics for parents at times. I know I was able to get a lot more things done because, for the most part, he was quiet and busy. But when a child, or an adult for that matter, sits in front of a device all the time they become withdrawn, antisocial, and they forget that there are other things in life. Important things that will make or break their future. Talking to people, learning to properly communicate what you want or need to others, and learning how to work with others are valuable tools for growing into a responsible adult. Granted, children don't have that insight into the future that we do. It is our responsibility as parents to help them see it.

So yesterday, after I witnessed my son treating his father with an extreme amount of disrespect, because the rule was when his dad came to visit the Nook was turned off, I took it away. I did not do it without explanation. I told him that I believe that has become to distant from the things around him. And I also told him that I believe that he needed to learn how to interact with people and play. That I wanted him to grow up into a respectful caring young man and that I love him enough to know when he needs my help in making sure that happened. 

Since I took it away, he has been more respectful, helpful, playful, and most importantly, HAPPY! This is not to say that he will never use the Nook again. It is only allowed on car trips and only for a few select, Mother approved, games. Absolutely NO INTERNET! It will be in extreme moderation.

He will learn so much more of life now. And, yes it certainly has been a learning experience for me too!


Monday, August 17, 2015

Single Mom Dating at 45!

After dating off and on and some relationship fails, I made the choice to just stop. Having a young son and dating at 45 years old is a whole lot different than dating at 30. The priorities are different. The range of life experience is different. Not wanting to expose my son to a revolving door of men coming into and out of my life, not dating was a whole lot easier of a decision. Alas, it is a lonely life. This is not to say that I didn't go out at all with a man occasionally, but I never really set my heart into actually finding someone. I figured if it was meant to be that I was with someone that he would show up eventually. Fortunately, he did show up and I am now the happiest I have been in way too many years.

Dating requires a person to put themselves on display in hopes that the other person likes what they see and and what they feel when they are around you. As a single mom, when I go out I have to consider so many variables, not just for the sake of the date, but for my safety and the safety of my children and home. Unfortunately, I found that there are lots of guys that wanted nothing more than to hop into bed for a one nighter. Definitely not my scene. Though I admit, the friends with benefits thing was an option but only with someone I knew and trusted. That, however, is a cold way to go because it still leaves you alone at the end of the night, unable to hold someone or express your hopes, dreams, and love to another. Your holidays, vacations, and whatnot will still be alone. It isn't a lifestyle solution for me.

 I was content with being single at least for the duration of the time that my son would live at home. Ten more years of being alone seemed like a small sacrifice. That and it spared me the possibility of being hurt yet another time. But then I wondered if I was doing him an injustice by not letting him see me happy and with someone, other than him, that wanted to hold me and be there for me. And I wondered if I was doing my daughters a disservice by teaching them not to deal with a situation or try things even though it may not have the desired outcome. I don't want to teach them to hide in a bubble because they are afraid of the possibility of getting hurt. So when the opportunity arose, I took the chance. After five years though, it was scary.

 Thanks to a good friend (Thanks Tracey!) who hooked me up with a friend of hers from work, there is someone in my life who is respectful, loving, compassionate, funny, honest, and patient. I don't know how the future will go but it looks very promising and I'm happy. 

 Yes, it is scary and yes, it requires taking a chance. But I am sure glad I did. Now my children can see me happy and having a loving, caring, and respectful relationship! And I have someone to share my life with when the nest is empty.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Buy A Hotel

I remember one time my mother telling me that she wished she could buy a hotel so that each of us kids would have a place to live on our own but still be close to her. I laughed when she said that not knowing the depth of the meaning of her words. Being the fourth of six kids and watching our parents do everything they could to keep us happy and healthy, it seemed like a huge job. I would have thought they would do about anything for a moment's peace. Now, being the mother of two adult children and an eight year old, the struggle of emotions is real as I have watched two of them grow and go their own way.

Having children is a great blessing. Watching them grow, mature, and their personalities shape. I can't tell you how many times my two oldest told me they were never gonna leave home. But I knew that inevitably they would do as so many children have done before, setting out into the world on their own. They have that longing for experiences of life that they can't get under my wing. It isn't easy to let go. So much time as a parent is spent protecting, teaching, and preparing them just to one day hear them say they are ready to strike out on their own. Then, of course, all you want to do is lock them away where they can be kept safe.

You think back over the years as they were growing up and ask yourself, "Did I do enough to prepare them? Did I teach them right?" Fear and doubts creep in about your parenting abilities. But eventually you realise that this is part of the process of growing up and coming of age. They need this experience in life so they will one day be able to pass on their wisdom to their children. This road is one I have been on as well as my mother and her mother before her. Children grow up and move on to experience love, pain, joy, and sarrow because this is what they are supposed to do. They will potentially meet the love of their life. Some will become parents and yes, like my mother and now me, they will want to buy a hotel!

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Facebook Recipes

If you have Facebook, you have seen tons of these. Recipes, that look absolutely amazing, pour in on Facebook all the time and I cant tell you how many times I have said, "Hey, I'm gonna try that one." Well I am going to start a new kind of blog post that will go along with my regular posts. Facebook Recipes will be coming soon! I will be making (maybe with small variations depending on ingredients) and reviewing them so stay tuned, one of your favorites may just pop up. Have suggestions? Look for PastelPriceless on Facebook and post them there!

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

The Most Beautiful Dragon In The World!

I love watching my son's mind at work. What most people would think of as a ripped plastic bag, he finds beauty and purpose in. Cultivating creativity is so easy when you look at it through the eyes of a child. Don't ever force a child to conform to what society thinks art should look like. Stifling what they create in their minds is a horrible mistake. He makes paper into things that have no meaning to the average person but to him it is a whole new world. It flies and so does his imagination.

What does this look like to you?


To me it is the most beautiful dragon in the world! 

The art of a child comes from a place of purity of soul and innocence that seems to be lost later in life. Cherish this time and encourage the ability to use the imagination to it's fullest potential.


Allow them to open their minds to possibilities.


Display it proudly!


Encourage them to explain what they see in their art.  Show your children how beautiful you think their mind is. If they believe that you believe in them, they can reach for their dreams with more confidence and be ready to take on the world!

Friday, July 3, 2015

The Power Of The Great Outdoors


Never underestimate the power of the great outdoors to lift your spirits. It clears the head, relieves tension, prevents depression, and helps me to plan my days. Who can be unhappy when looking at scenes like these?
Bird Oasis

The Power of Flowers
Up Close and Personal



Peaceful Visitor
  My mornings are spent on the back deck seeing amazing nature scenes, breathing in the brisk air, and listening to the local wildlife.

Beauty And Power

At the End Of the Day

  Evenings are spent gazing at the sunset and reflecting on the day. I just can't resist the power of the great outdoors!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

My Son Says I Make The Best!

My son says I make the best Banana Bread in the whole wide world! Considering his vast amount of experience with food world wide (I'm being sarcastic, of course.) I will certainly take the compliment and run with it! So here is the Best Banana Bread In The Whole Wide World recipe!



BEST BANANA BREAD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

4 RIPENED OR OVER RIPENED SMASHED BANANAS
2 EGGS
1 3/4 CUPS OF BROWN SUGAR
1/2 CUP MELTED BUTTER
1/4  CUP MILK
1 TEASPOON VANILLA EXTRACT
1 TEASPOON BAKING SODA
1 3/4 CUP FLOUR
Cream together bananas, eggs, brown sugar, melted butter, milk, and vanilla extract. Mix flour and baking soda together thoroughly then add to the creamed banana mixture. Make sure to mix thoroughly so there are no lumps. Pour into a bread pan that has been coated with cooking spray. Bake till golden brown top cracks slightly or 1 hour and 25 minutes in a preheated 325 degree oven. 


This and a nice hot cup of coffee in the morning, what could be better?